Cancel Anytime

Sound familiar?

This phrase is most often used when we’re signing up for a Direct Primary Care plan or the Cheesecake-of-the-Month club, right?

When we’re about to pay for something, we like reassurance that there’s no long term commitment should we change our mind.

However….

…when we make plans for breakfast with friends, we don’t say at the end of the text string, “cancel anytime”.

But should we?

And so this all comes down to a question.

When you cancel plans on others, HOW DO YOU FEEL?

A) Guilty

B) Free!

C) Just fine

When people cancel plans on you, how do you feel?

A) Annoyed

B) Glad that they have good boundaries

C) Secretly happy because you wanted to stay home

For most of my life I was very hesitant to cancel plans. I always felt guilty.

I wanted to uphold this image of reliability.

I wanted to be the PERSON who kept plans.

I did NOT want to be a flake.

And now, I feel VERY differently.

It might be Costa Rica that did it.

In that country, peeps not only had no trouble canceling plans, but didn't like to MAKE plans until the day of.

This drove me crazy to an extent, but it freed up my mind to do lots of other things.

It made me live my life based on feelings instead of calendars.

And I now have much less issue canceling plans or rescheduling meetings.

I have better boundaries.

I do a lot less shit I don't want to do.

I realize that sometimes the occasion really matters and....most of the time....... it doesn't.

And I realize that even though it SEEMED like I was being considerate of OTHERS before, I was actually thinking of myself as TOO GOSH DARN important.

As if everyone's DAY would be ruined because they weren't seeing me for lunch. In reality, those people were probably saying: "Bummer." and then swiftly getting back to feeding their pet iguana or making grilled cheese for their kids.

The word "commitment" still has a place in my life. And I don't easily break plans.

But I have better boundaries.

And it's a much nicer place to live.

Thoughts?

P.S. I’m in the business of transformation. Like SERIOUS consciousness-raising: Moxie, Messaging and Manifestation of your best self. Muggles need not apply.